Facebook and Relationships
My early years....if I was a white that is
In the culture of Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, multiple email address, text messages, cell phones, instant chat, etc., fidelity is a fragile China doll. For many people, these social networking tools are used as options and "place holders" for dating multiple people and getting your freak on. The connection between old flames, booger wolves, trifling men, skanks, "baby mamas", "baby daddies", one night stands, booty calls, high school crushes, etc... are somewhat of shock and amazement.
You're right princess, dogfood cost too damn much
Just look at your Facebook "friends" list as an example. Ha ha...ho-ly shit! Unless you're black, you're blushing now! It's like a Charles Dickens ghost of Christmas ass ...of the past. A montage of heartbreak, sexual deviance and conquest, failed relationships, skid mark underwear and dreams that never been fulfilled. If the person that you're currently committed to, knew the intimate details, it would without a doubt, be a major shit storm. I bet that many people just assume it and just take a don't ask don't tell approach to it. It's not insecurity, its simple human nature. "You mean you kicked it with that skinny black mother**ker, a damn Dj?"
How many of us had to explain, hide or delete comments that were made? How many of us were asked "who is that person"? How many of us felt the uncomfortably of having to delete a comment because it would mess up your chances of connecting with another or cause issues with who you're with? How many of us changed or made social commentary/political views just so we won't rock the boat with a potential lover? Some of it is just simple naivety. In my case, people hip me to things I didn't take notice of too.
On the flip side, how many of us welcome all the flirtation, private messages and comments, in hopes of having a better chance of hooking up with multiple people...casting fishing net? How many of us just for fun, counted the people we "hit". Hey, that'll be a new drinking game, "I tapped that" (someone work on that for me). How many of us had an ego boost from someone admiring a photo of us? How many of us exaggerated our personal desirability in order to make others jealous or to want us more? It's sick and honestly, I myself may have been guilty of a few of those examples.
My opinion of all of this is that FB is not and will not cause mistrust, cheating or having many lovers on the side (many are cool with this anyway). If you're a super freak, you're a super freak, but just like a chocolate cake in front of a person on a diet, it's there. The temptation is too strong for most people. I decided for myself that if I truly get into a committed...deeply committed relationship, there's gonna only be two things that my friends will notice in social networking circles. I will completely disappear from these site, or the more plausible, my relationship status would be made public.
People always say they want their relationship to be "private" or we don't have to shout it from the rooftops, yet, every other part of their life is exposed like Janet's breatisis. The privacy hustle is bullshit. Being clear on who I'm in a relationship with is not just to monitor my behavior but the behavior of others trying to get with "Chocolate Man Candy" . It really needs to be clear to others where you are in life and where you want to be. Your true "friends" should be able to respect that and know their boundaries.
Think about it...
.
In the culture of Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, multiple email address, text messages, cell phones, instant chat, etc., fidelity is a fragile China doll. For many people, these social networking tools are used as options and "place holders" for dating multiple people and getting your freak on. The connection between old flames, booger wolves, trifling men, skanks, "baby mamas", "baby daddies", one night stands, booty calls, high school crushes, etc... are somewhat of shock and amazement.
Just look at your Facebook "friends" list as an example. Ha ha...ho-ly shit! Unless you're black, you're blushing now! It's like a Charles Dickens ghost of Christmas ass ...of the past. A montage of heartbreak, sexual deviance and conquest, failed relationships, skid mark underwear and dreams that never been fulfilled. If the person that you're currently committed to, knew the intimate details, it would without a doubt, be a major shit storm. I bet that many people just assume it and just take a don't ask don't tell approach to it. It's not insecurity, its simple human nature. "You mean you kicked it with that skinny black mother**ker, a damn Dj?"
How many of us had to explain, hide or delete comments that were made? How many of us were asked "who is that person"? How many of us felt the uncomfortably of having to delete a comment because it would mess up your chances of connecting with another or cause issues with who you're with? How many of us changed or made social commentary/political views just so we won't rock the boat with a potential lover? Some of it is just simple naivety. In my case, people hip me to things I didn't take notice of too.
On the flip side, how many of us welcome all the flirtation, private messages and comments, in hopes of having a better chance of hooking up with multiple people...casting fishing net? How many of us just for fun, counted the people we "hit". Hey, that'll be a new drinking game, "I tapped that" (someone work on that for me). How many of us had an ego boost from someone admiring a photo of us? How many of us exaggerated our personal desirability in order to make others jealous or to want us more? It's sick and honestly, I myself may have been guilty of a few of those examples.
People always say they want their relationship to be "private" or we don't have to shout it from the rooftops, yet, every other part of their life is exposed like Janet's breatisis. The privacy hustle is bullshit. Being clear on who I'm in a relationship with is not just to monitor my behavior but the behavior of others trying to get with "Chocolate Man Candy" . It really needs to be clear to others where you are in life and where you want to be. Your true "friends" should be able to respect that and know their boundaries.
Think about it...
.
